Do you estimate this is a apposite genesis to a book?
intro
I have powers. powers that are unexplainable. i can mold space and
time,i can move thing to my will, i can do things normal culture cant even
dream of. i have chosen to give my self a name, for multipul reason. i
will as forth refer to myself as --------.
chapter 1
To decide, To survive, To thrive. that is the infinity cores motto.
if you ask me its a load of crap. adjectives they do is use normal people to put
people from "the x-bomb" aft bars or in a body-bag. the x-bomb was truly
a storage box for a highly radioactive isotope. it had a bomb on it so no one
could enlarge it causing a massive radioactive explosion. its creators (who i
still have no idea about) shipped it out until that time it could be finished. all i
know is that they had it, they were afraid of it, and they wante to achieve rid
of it.
our military found it at the bottom of the ocean and of course didn't
tell anyone. they thought it to be a bomb and tried to disarm it. when they
found out what it be they ran, twenty minutes before it exploded after
getting nice and safe, they warn us. it was to late. everyone within 50
miles or so be dead.everyone else near the huge crator? like me. i haven't
met anyone beside the same powers as me but i have met some psychos who killed,
looted, and destroyed things. i hold also met people who used their powers
for good, of course the military kill them, ironic. i haven't seen my girlfriend
since a few days after the explosion. when we found out i had powers she was
anxious but i convinced her to stay with me. one of the disgraces (my name
for the corrupted people) ran at her. he have a shotgun and i was scared. i
used my powers to stop him. i didn't know how to use them like i do in a minute
so i just distorted him into a pile of blood and guts. when i say distorted
i mean i used my powers to rip him up and mold his atoms till he be
nothing. the horrified look on her face will forever be burned into my mind, she left and i never saw her again.
that's how i do abundantly of things now a day, through distorting. i made a stone house and
other things just by moving atoms into the form i similar to. every time i use
my powers, i see the look of horror on her face. i think ive told you
enough to make clear to you were i am today.
chapter 2
i had 3 things i wanted to do. find Jenifer, execute who ever was
responsible for this, and forget it ever happened. sadly, im afraid just one
will happen, but i still have to try. i try to look at myself as a super hero
but everyone else thinks i'm a freak. if i ever find Jen i don't want anyone to
know who i be so i made myself a costume and decided to become --------.
i didn't like the name but it thought it be fitting.
p.s. im 13 and still need a name for him
Answers:
Lack of proper grammar and punctuation stopped me from if truth be told reading past the intro and instead I just skimmed. If you want to write a book you need to do it properly. You also made several spelling mistakes. Revise.
"To settle on, To survive, To thrive."
No.
"To decide. To survive. To thrive."
or
"To decide, to survive, to thrive."
I don't mean to come stale sounding harsh (i'm close to your age, so I can sympathise) but if you want people to read this without totally disregarding it you stipulation to take advice and follow it.
yesss very good!
1. I like this notion. Yes, it has the makings of a good beginning.
1a. ...A constructive critique...no rewrites...suggestions...question... excuse length...
2. If "the military" finds this item and tries to disarm "the bomb" but have only a "few minutes" to get away, how can they put on alert anyone? Wouldn't they be dead too?
I think so. I think they couldn't alert anyone. Right?
3. Suggest you stick to one name for "the psychos" or "the corrupted ones" - one or the other - unless you explain it - readers need to know you penny-pinching the same people.
4. I realize you may have typed this contained by a hurry, but you need to do at least one revision. Don't worry going on for it.
All good writers do many revisions.
--It's for grammar and punctuation problems, for the most part.--
Right now a name for the protagonist isn't important; right writing is.
5. If the "infinity core" is made up of superheroes, suggest you capitalize that name.
Who is "everyone else"? Who and where are the "normals" - and/or "everyone else" - people not here alive outside the "fifty-mile" zone?
How does your protagonist meet them?
How do others know he's a "freak"?
How does he find his girlfriend?
This can all be expanded on in subsequently chapters.
6. It's good to start with performance the way you have.
It's also good to permit the action pretty much speak for itself, to let things evolve over time and more chapters. I give attention to you're already doing this and that's good.
7. Suggest you find a mentor: someone you trust who is educated and can help you spot the errors adjectives writers miss.
Mentors and/or editors are your friends at this point.
Good job.
I found this very interesting.
Keep writing, read a wide multiplicity of good books, and always observe enthusiasm around you, using imagination as you do so.
Best of luck. Source(s): UCLA Eng. Lit., post-grad work. Made living as writer, editor, tutor (for Eng. majors). Usually retired.
Related Questions:
What are some upright romance novel?
I am a teenager, but i have recently discovered adjectives the teenage romances, suck.i have just finished reading the time travelers wife, and i fell within love with the book, i was so upset when it ended.so what are some other obedient romance novels?minimal sex scenes pleasekeep it MA 15+ please. Janet Chapman - mention of time...
Looking for free online copy of markedly short story: The Steel Cat?
I don't know the author. It's about a salesman who attempts to sell his mouse trap invention in Chicago using a live mouse he's become attached to and consequently ... well I don't want to spoil it for you. It would still be under copyright, as redunicorn said. You...
I have powers. powers that are unexplainable. i can mold space and
time,i can move thing to my will, i can do things normal culture cant even
dream of. i have chosen to give my self a name, for multipul reason. i
will as forth refer to myself as --------.
chapter 1
To decide, To survive, To thrive. that is the infinity cores motto.
if you ask me its a load of crap. adjectives they do is use normal people to put
people from "the x-bomb" aft bars or in a body-bag. the x-bomb was truly
a storage box for a highly radioactive isotope. it had a bomb on it so no one
could enlarge it causing a massive radioactive explosion. its creators (who i
still have no idea about) shipped it out until that time it could be finished. all i
know is that they had it, they were afraid of it, and they wante to achieve rid
of it.
our military found it at the bottom of the ocean and of course didn't
tell anyone. they thought it to be a bomb and tried to disarm it. when they
found out what it be they ran, twenty minutes before it exploded after
getting nice and safe, they warn us. it was to late. everyone within 50
miles or so be dead.everyone else near the huge crator? like me. i haven't
met anyone beside the same powers as me but i have met some psychos who killed,
looted, and destroyed things. i hold also met people who used their powers
for good, of course the military kill them, ironic. i haven't seen my girlfriend
since a few days after the explosion. when we found out i had powers she was
anxious but i convinced her to stay with me. one of the disgraces (my name
for the corrupted people) ran at her. he have a shotgun and i was scared. i
used my powers to stop him. i didn't know how to use them like i do in a minute
so i just distorted him into a pile of blood and guts. when i say distorted
i mean i used my powers to rip him up and mold his atoms till he be
nothing. the horrified look on her face will forever be burned into my mind, she left and i never saw her again.
that's how i do abundantly of things now a day, through distorting. i made a stone house and
other things just by moving atoms into the form i similar to. every time i use
my powers, i see the look of horror on her face. i think ive told you
enough to make clear to you were i am today.
chapter 2
i had 3 things i wanted to do. find Jenifer, execute who ever was
responsible for this, and forget it ever happened. sadly, im afraid just one
will happen, but i still have to try. i try to look at myself as a super hero
but everyone else thinks i'm a freak. if i ever find Jen i don't want anyone to
know who i be so i made myself a costume and decided to become --------.
i didn't like the name but it thought it be fitting.
p.s. im 13 and still need a name for him
Answers:
Lack of proper grammar and punctuation stopped me from if truth be told reading past the intro and instead I just skimmed. If you want to write a book you need to do it properly. You also made several spelling mistakes. Revise.
"To settle on, To survive, To thrive."
No.
"To decide. To survive. To thrive."
or
"To decide, to survive, to thrive."
I don't mean to come stale sounding harsh (i'm close to your age, so I can sympathise) but if you want people to read this without totally disregarding it you stipulation to take advice and follow it.
yesss very good!
1. I like this notion. Yes, it has the makings of a good beginning.
1a. ...A constructive critique...no rewrites...suggestions...question... excuse length...
2. If "the military" finds this item and tries to disarm "the bomb" but have only a "few minutes" to get away, how can they put on alert anyone? Wouldn't they be dead too?
I think so. I think they couldn't alert anyone. Right?
3. Suggest you stick to one name for "the psychos" or "the corrupted ones" - one or the other - unless you explain it - readers need to know you penny-pinching the same people.
4. I realize you may have typed this contained by a hurry, but you need to do at least one revision. Don't worry going on for it.
All good writers do many revisions.
--It's for grammar and punctuation problems, for the most part.--
Right now a name for the protagonist isn't important; right writing is.
5. If the "infinity core" is made up of superheroes, suggest you capitalize that name.
Who is "everyone else"? Who and where are the "normals" - and/or "everyone else" - people not here alive outside the "fifty-mile" zone?
How does your protagonist meet them?
How do others know he's a "freak"?
How does he find his girlfriend?
This can all be expanded on in subsequently chapters.
6. It's good to start with performance the way you have.
It's also good to permit the action pretty much speak for itself, to let things evolve over time and more chapters. I give attention to you're already doing this and that's good.
7. Suggest you find a mentor: someone you trust who is educated and can help you spot the errors adjectives writers miss.
Mentors and/or editors are your friends at this point.
Good job.
I found this very interesting.
Keep writing, read a wide multiplicity of good books, and always observe enthusiasm around you, using imagination as you do so.
Best of luck. Source(s): UCLA Eng. Lit., post-grad work. Made living as writer, editor, tutor (for Eng. majors). Usually retired.
Related Questions:
What are some upright romance novel?
I am a teenager, but i have recently discovered adjectives the teenage romances, suck.i have just finished reading the time travelers wife, and i fell within love with the book, i was so upset when it ended.so what are some other obedient romance novels?minimal sex scenes pleasekeep it MA 15+ please. Janet Chapman - mention of time...
Looking for free online copy of markedly short story: The Steel Cat?
I don't know the author. It's about a salesman who attempts to sell his mouse trap invention in Chicago using a live mouse he's become attached to and consequently ... well I don't want to spoil it for you. It would still be under copyright, as redunicorn said. You...