Please bring up to date if it's obedient or not.?
I created a story myself after watching Hellboy. I'm just 13 and can anyone please tell me if i'm on the right path of a daydream author. Tell me if it's good or not for a 13 year old,
Pure Darkness surrounds Terion as utter silence fills within the castle walls. Nedethrol sits on its throne, a silver and black sword laid on his lap, covered with black liquid which can be identified as blood.
Feint horse falls can be hear outside the dark castle. Then erupted a shrill sound of huge metallic gates gap as footsteps can only be heard through the empty hall filled with bodies of some other Dark elves who met their unlucky doom when one of their own princes decided to unravel his plot to proclaim the kingdom his.
Nedethrol traced his pale contracted finger on the intricate pattern on the sword and wiped away some blood revealing the symbol of the dark elf, bearing the same meaning of dark as what their name implies.
He erupted into maniacal laughter as he taste the blood of his own kindred. He stood up and continued laughing as dead bodies under his feet stared at him next to their eyes opened, showing looks of fear, pain and confusion; exactly what they feel before being killed beside their own precious heirloom handed to them from the gods.
His golden eyes roamed through body after body until he found the bodies of his own parents. He bowed down low and picked up the golden crown on his own father’s severed head. He wipe off the blood stains on it as he put it on his own. He knelt down and held his mother’s cold hand surrounded by his. His eyes bore pain. After a few more seconds the sorrowful glint in his eyes turned into intense dislike.
He threw her hand aside as his eyes turned red.
“Who’s the best one now Mother?! Where’s Mandareth now to protect you?! Oh yeah…. He disappeared you all to die and spared me time to take over Terion easily!” he yell as he erupted into his spine tingling laughter. He went back to his throne as a shrouded amount walked into the huge wooden doors.
The figure bowed down low in front of Nendethrol near his sword unsheathed.
“My apologies your highness… but I can’t find your brother anywhere.” The figure said, his voice quivering from fright as he stood up slowly, revealing his black weathered clothes, grey-black hair and pure black eyes.
Nendethrol boiled with fume as he stood up quite hastily as his eye color changed again to its blood red hue. He pointed the sword at the figure’s throat as the poor, poor creature cowered in fright.
“Don’t you dare address that uncharitable monster as one of my own kin!” he yelled as he thrust his sword forward and blood spilled on the cold pavement.
Answers:
Wow, this piece astonished me. I would love to read your books, if you create any, because that was merely exceptional for a 13 year old.
Extremely good considering you are 13. Well done!
you know i'll say good , right?
tolerate me guess who nedethrol is ....
you are so predictable but still its good
wait terion is your made up place in that map, right? the map near many ..... dots and made up places right?
That's really great, man!
I haven't watched Hellboy, is it any good?
Please answer mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…
P.S: Unless these nation lived AGES ago, you might want to change the way they speak. "Don’t you dare address that selfish monster as one of my own kin" is something not a soul would say these days.
Goodluck!
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Pure Darkness surrounds Terion as utter silence fills within the castle walls. Nedethrol sits on its throne, a silver and black sword laid on his lap, covered with black liquid which can be identified as blood.
Feint horse falls can be hear outside the dark castle. Then erupted a shrill sound of huge metallic gates gap as footsteps can only be heard through the empty hall filled with bodies of some other Dark elves who met their unlucky doom when one of their own princes decided to unravel his plot to proclaim the kingdom his.
Nedethrol traced his pale contracted finger on the intricate pattern on the sword and wiped away some blood revealing the symbol of the dark elf, bearing the same meaning of dark as what their name implies.
He erupted into maniacal laughter as he taste the blood of his own kindred. He stood up and continued laughing as dead bodies under his feet stared at him next to their eyes opened, showing looks of fear, pain and confusion; exactly what they feel before being killed beside their own precious heirloom handed to them from the gods.
His golden eyes roamed through body after body until he found the bodies of his own parents. He bowed down low and picked up the golden crown on his own father’s severed head. He wipe off the blood stains on it as he put it on his own. He knelt down and held his mother’s cold hand surrounded by his. His eyes bore pain. After a few more seconds the sorrowful glint in his eyes turned into intense dislike.
He threw her hand aside as his eyes turned red.
“Who’s the best one now Mother?! Where’s Mandareth now to protect you?! Oh yeah…. He disappeared you all to die and spared me time to take over Terion easily!” he yell as he erupted into his spine tingling laughter. He went back to his throne as a shrouded amount walked into the huge wooden doors.
The figure bowed down low in front of Nendethrol near his sword unsheathed.
“My apologies your highness… but I can’t find your brother anywhere.” The figure said, his voice quivering from fright as he stood up slowly, revealing his black weathered clothes, grey-black hair and pure black eyes.
Nendethrol boiled with fume as he stood up quite hastily as his eye color changed again to its blood red hue. He pointed the sword at the figure’s throat as the poor, poor creature cowered in fright.
“Don’t you dare address that uncharitable monster as one of my own kin!” he yelled as he thrust his sword forward and blood spilled on the cold pavement.
Answers:
Wow, this piece astonished me. I would love to read your books, if you create any, because that was merely exceptional for a 13 year old.
Extremely good considering you are 13. Well done!
you know i'll say good , right?
tolerate me guess who nedethrol is ....
you are so predictable but still its good
wait terion is your made up place in that map, right? the map near many ..... dots and made up places right?
That's really great, man!
I haven't watched Hellboy, is it any good?
Please answer mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…
P.S: Unless these nation lived AGES ago, you might want to change the way they speak. "Don’t you dare address that selfish monster as one of my own kin" is something not a soul would say these days.
Goodluck!
Related Questions:
Catching Fire By: susan collins?
any songs that fit in with the book? Pardon Me (While I burst into Flame) by IncubusExcellent Song to go beside an equally excellent Book!!Lyrics:Pardon me while I burstPardon me while I burstA decade ago, I never thought I would be.A twenty three on the verge of spontaneous combustion. Woe-is-meBut I guess that it comes with the territory.An...
Best Books...?
What are the 10 best books ever? 1) harry potter series, by jk rowling2) the twilight saga, by stephanie meyer3) the warrior heir, by cinda williams chima4) sherlock holmes and the hound of baskervilles, by sir Arthur conan doyle5) timeline, by michael crichton6) where on earth the wild things are, by maurice sendak7) the last holiday concert, by andrew clements8) pride...