What do you contemplate of my prologue? Constructive opinion appreciated.?
Like I said before, this is just a prologue, the story is very different than what it seem. Tell me what you think, if I need more detail or whatever. Thanks.
CONSTRUCTIVE critism is appreciated
“One veggie burger, no bun, and two shots wheat grass,” Lily call out across the eatery. After the order had been picked up, she turned support towards the beehive of gossip that was going on behind her. “I hear that after he takes you, he skins you and walks around in a suit made of you,” shuddered Tara, one of the brand new girls. “That’s stupid, no ones ever been found after they’ve been taken, and how do you know it’s a he?” scoffed the assistant administrator Jeff. He too had been drawn to the buzz that had be building for the last week. Out of the three vegan eateries in the town, two organization had been abducted from one, while the other from the west side of town. Now amid a whirlwind of crazy concept that were circling the North Side Vegan Eatery employees, she thankfully realize that her shift was almost over. After cleaning her station and checking her schedule, she heads for the door, digging for her key which are probably at the bottom of her enormous purse.
“You were already supposed to do that, remember?” She glances up, still managing to hold onto her brush, phone, wallet, and lip comment on all freshly uprooted from her purse. “Helf me then,” she replies over the tampon in her mouth. Jeff be a nice average looking guy that she had dated a couple of times in the past, nought serious just a concert or football game. She had merely never felt that spark when it came to him.
“Come on, you took that long boring safety seminar too, ya know,” he commented beside his nose still in her purse. “Finally! Have you ever thought that a purse big enough to lose a small child within wasn’t such a good idea?” He teased while holding up her key.
“Then where would I hide all of my illegitimate children while mommy is at work?” She grab her keys, pecks him on the cheek and pushes against the exit door.
On her way out to the car, key firmly in hand, she realizes that while her lime green uniform be awful to look at, the wheat grass stain on her shorts made them look worse. So she plunges into her purse to find her much used shout stick, again probably at the bottom, and stops briefly to concentrate on her search.
Before she realizes, someone’s behind her, arm around her throat adjectives off her air supply. She struggles to get nouns as the edges of her vision darken. She’s vaguely aware that the man holding her seems excited and right until that time she slips into unconsciousness she hears him exclaim as he begins to drag her away, “You adjectives smell so good!”
Answers:
It's a good start. It needs for a moment polishing, but interesting. I want to here more! Sounds like it could be a Criminal Minds episode ( I love Criminal Minds). Just make sure you keep it unproved. The whole walking around in their skin reminds me of Silence of the Lambs.
Needs polished, but all the elements hold dragged me into the situation and I'm hungry to know more. Source(s): When Vegans go Bad, by Connie Vore.
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In the Crucible, I necessitate to come up beside examples of how describing the truth get someone surrounded by more trouble?
Preferably in acts two and three only? In Act II, John Proctor told Elizabeth that he be alone with Abigail. Elizabeth gts upset and they begin to argue. In Act III, Giles Corey told the court that Thomas Putnam want land form...
Book recommendation please!?
Hi, I'm not usually into reading but when I read this story on here a while go, I wanted to, you know, read more things like it. So, I necessitate some books that's narrator speaks in this tone/author writes kind of resembling this: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index; Thanks for your help! And I'm a Junior in High School. Markus Zusak- The Book...
CONSTRUCTIVE critism is appreciated
“One veggie burger, no bun, and two shots wheat grass,” Lily call out across the eatery. After the order had been picked up, she turned support towards the beehive of gossip that was going on behind her. “I hear that after he takes you, he skins you and walks around in a suit made of you,” shuddered Tara, one of the brand new girls. “That’s stupid, no ones ever been found after they’ve been taken, and how do you know it’s a he?” scoffed the assistant administrator Jeff. He too had been drawn to the buzz that had be building for the last week. Out of the three vegan eateries in the town, two organization had been abducted from one, while the other from the west side of town. Now amid a whirlwind of crazy concept that were circling the North Side Vegan Eatery employees, she thankfully realize that her shift was almost over. After cleaning her station and checking her schedule, she heads for the door, digging for her key which are probably at the bottom of her enormous purse.
“You were already supposed to do that, remember?” She glances up, still managing to hold onto her brush, phone, wallet, and lip comment on all freshly uprooted from her purse. “Helf me then,” she replies over the tampon in her mouth. Jeff be a nice average looking guy that she had dated a couple of times in the past, nought serious just a concert or football game. She had merely never felt that spark when it came to him.
“Come on, you took that long boring safety seminar too, ya know,” he commented beside his nose still in her purse. “Finally! Have you ever thought that a purse big enough to lose a small child within wasn’t such a good idea?” He teased while holding up her key.
“Then where would I hide all of my illegitimate children while mommy is at work?” She grab her keys, pecks him on the cheek and pushes against the exit door.
On her way out to the car, key firmly in hand, she realizes that while her lime green uniform be awful to look at, the wheat grass stain on her shorts made them look worse. So she plunges into her purse to find her much used shout stick, again probably at the bottom, and stops briefly to concentrate on her search.
Before she realizes, someone’s behind her, arm around her throat adjectives off her air supply. She struggles to get nouns as the edges of her vision darken. She’s vaguely aware that the man holding her seems excited and right until that time she slips into unconsciousness she hears him exclaim as he begins to drag her away, “You adjectives smell so good!”
Answers:
It's a good start. It needs for a moment polishing, but interesting. I want to here more! Sounds like it could be a Criminal Minds episode ( I love Criminal Minds). Just make sure you keep it unproved. The whole walking around in their skin reminds me of Silence of the Lambs.
Needs polished, but all the elements hold dragged me into the situation and I'm hungry to know more. Source(s): When Vegans go Bad, by Connie Vore.
Related Questions:
In the Crucible, I necessitate to come up beside examples of how describing the truth get someone surrounded by more trouble?
Preferably in acts two and three only? In Act II, John Proctor told Elizabeth that he be alone with Abigail. Elizabeth gts upset and they begin to argue. In Act III, Giles Corey told the court that Thomas Putnam want land form...
Book recommendation please!?
Hi, I'm not usually into reading but when I read this story on here a while go, I wanted to, you know, read more things like it. So, I necessitate some books that's narrator speaks in this tone/author writes kind of resembling this: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index; Thanks for your help! And I'm a Junior in High School. Markus Zusak- The Book...