Is this a upright story so far?
Im 13 and i love to write i have about 2 paragraphs done on mibba please read my story and detail me wat you think of it thx (the link for the story is below)
http://stories.mibba.com/read/210409/The-dark-side/
Answers:
woah, that was way too long t read - sorry.
Although I did read the summary and it seem s interesting. the individual thing maybe change the dub Demitri, in Vampire Academy there is a Demitri and people WILL voice you 'stole' the name.
just make sure your vampires are resourceful also.
mine pleasE anyone? i need you opinion on my story!
http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind…
The start is a kinda confusing, I didn't read all of it but it but the start was jumpy. Why not start near one day she's walking home from school with a friend, later she sees something in the corner of her eyes turns around and no one's there, her friend might ask what's wrong... Just rewrite it and net it smoother...
Even though you're only thirteen, this is frikkin rad.. approaching, I definitely wanna read more :) keep on writing Jennnna lol.. sweet name kid (: don't tight to be a downer, but the only thing that threw me was the certainty that ur writing this story in first person.. like I did this, my ... and you be representing the kidnappers by their names.. she wouldn't have specified the names if she was just within the park and getting knabbed up by these shady characters.. but other than that its rad.
Have fun writing that book.
(I didn't know Jennnna was ur name btw.. its on the mibba profile header thingy lol..) Source(s): my brain.. i love cliché that XD
I read the summary, saw the words three vampires and love, and thought, "I'm not going any further."
For pete's sakes, ya'll get some inventiveness.
Related Questions:
Please serve me find this book (boyfriend get kill, sits outside girlfriends skylight everynight?)?
basically its along those lines its a young adult romance i hear about it and want to get it for my friend but i cant remember the name please serve me! Thanks x | Uninvited by Amanda Marrone It's not really romance, more of a traditional...
http://stories.mibba.com/read/210409/The-dark-side/
Answers:
woah, that was way too long t read - sorry.
Although I did read the summary and it seem s interesting. the individual thing maybe change the dub Demitri, in Vampire Academy there is a Demitri and people WILL voice you 'stole' the name.
just make sure your vampires are resourceful also.
mine pleasE anyone? i need you opinion on my story!
http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind…
The start is a kinda confusing, I didn't read all of it but it but the start was jumpy. Why not start near one day she's walking home from school with a friend, later she sees something in the corner of her eyes turns around and no one's there, her friend might ask what's wrong... Just rewrite it and net it smoother...
Even though you're only thirteen, this is frikkin rad.. approaching, I definitely wanna read more :) keep on writing Jennnna lol.. sweet name kid (: don't tight to be a downer, but the only thing that threw me was the certainty that ur writing this story in first person.. like I did this, my ... and you be representing the kidnappers by their names.. she wouldn't have specified the names if she was just within the park and getting knabbed up by these shady characters.. but other than that its rad.
Have fun writing that book.
(I didn't know Jennnna was ur name btw.. its on the mibba profile header thingy lol..) Source(s): my brain.. i love cliché that XD
I read the summary, saw the words three vampires and love, and thought, "I'm not going any further."
For pete's sakes, ya'll get some inventiveness.
Related Questions:
Please serve me find this book (boyfriend get kill, sits outside girlfriends skylight everynight?)?
basically its along those lines its a young adult romance i hear about it and want to get it for my friend but i cant remember the name please serve me! Thanks x | Uninvited by Amanda Marrone It's not really romance, more of a traditional...