EASY 10 POINTS, JUST NEED AT LEAST 5 ANSWERS BEFORE I CHOOSE BEST ONE?
Is this really short story good enough for my writing club?
I froze as my window creaked. I held my breath, but released it contained by relief when i heard the steady snores from the room next door. Good, my parents are still asleep. I cracked my pane open further. My toe felt around outside until I finally felt a rugged branch under it. I stepped onto it carefully, took a deep breath, and jump. My feet sunk into the soft muddy earth with a muffled thud. The frigid autumn nouns stung my face. I ignored my shivering and started to walk.
I have no idea where i was going but I be just going. My legs moved without hesitation and since i knew it i was in town. Dim lights lit up the display window in the empty stores. I ignored them and kept walking. Suddenly, i feel something wet fall onto my nose. I looked up and another marine droplet fell close to my eye. Soon enough, it was pouring. I frowned in dismay. I have no choice but to walk home.
Answers:
I think it's a flawless short story, but maybe too short? Try describing the way things look while you are walking. also, you use great adjectives. you may want to re-do the first sentence in the second paragraph. the rest is excellent. polite luck
I actually enjoyed it; there is apt use of description without overdoing it, and there are no grammatical errors that jump out at you. The culmination even made me smile; the way the reader is built up like that and then agree to down shows how there can be a climax in such a short story.
yes, it is very good. good word choice, grammer usage etc. :) i close to. watch your punctuation, as you didn't capitaliza 2 "I"'s
its pretty good, but make it so its not like hs is going away his house, and he immediately has to go rear legs.
i am a writer, so i like to see writing flow in the right way... :) i would read it though. your writing is incredibly descriptive.
This is absolutely, positively amazing. I can already feel the precipitation against my head, and see the stores in my vision. This is specifically a masterpiece. If you're under 13, you should send this to a magazine that publishes stories written by children. It's call Stone Soup.
http://www.stonesoup.com/
Yeah :]
You should make it a book.
Sounds like something I would read.
Related Questions:
Questions in the order of The Bhagavad Gita.?
Who are Krishna and Arjuna and what is the nature of their relationship? According to Krishna, why should Arjuna fight in the fight? What does Krishna say about how individuals should approach work? pages within the book | Do you travel to the Universty of Memphis and have Dr,...
I froze as my window creaked. I held my breath, but released it contained by relief when i heard the steady snores from the room next door. Good, my parents are still asleep. I cracked my pane open further. My toe felt around outside until I finally felt a rugged branch under it. I stepped onto it carefully, took a deep breath, and jump. My feet sunk into the soft muddy earth with a muffled thud. The frigid autumn nouns stung my face. I ignored my shivering and started to walk.
I have no idea where i was going but I be just going. My legs moved without hesitation and since i knew it i was in town. Dim lights lit up the display window in the empty stores. I ignored them and kept walking. Suddenly, i feel something wet fall onto my nose. I looked up and another marine droplet fell close to my eye. Soon enough, it was pouring. I frowned in dismay. I have no choice but to walk home.
Answers:
I think it's a flawless short story, but maybe too short? Try describing the way things look while you are walking. also, you use great adjectives. you may want to re-do the first sentence in the second paragraph. the rest is excellent. polite luck
I actually enjoyed it; there is apt use of description without overdoing it, and there are no grammatical errors that jump out at you. The culmination even made me smile; the way the reader is built up like that and then agree to down shows how there can be a climax in such a short story.
yes, it is very good. good word choice, grammer usage etc. :) i close to. watch your punctuation, as you didn't capitaliza 2 "I"'s
its pretty good, but make it so its not like hs is going away his house, and he immediately has to go rear legs.
i am a writer, so i like to see writing flow in the right way... :) i would read it though. your writing is incredibly descriptive.
This is absolutely, positively amazing. I can already feel the precipitation against my head, and see the stores in my vision. This is specifically a masterpiece. If you're under 13, you should send this to a magazine that publishes stories written by children. It's call Stone Soup.
http://www.stonesoup.com/
Yeah :]
You should make it a book.
Sounds like something I would read.
Related Questions:
Questions in the order of The Bhagavad Gita.?
Who are Krishna and Arjuna and what is the nature of their relationship? According to Krishna, why should Arjuna fight in the fight? What does Krishna say about how individuals should approach work? pages within the book | Do you travel to the Universty of Memphis and have Dr,...