WHO WINS THE WRITING CONTEST?!?
My 2 friends and I are all writing books, and want to know who's is best! Below is the first paragraph of each. give possibly a quick review of each if you want, and vote!
Paragraph 1. (A sci/fi fantasy)
The Phoenix Cult. It cannot rightly be called a religion, more approaching a method. Anyone who finishes the Cult’s final ritual becomes and outcast of society almost instantaneously. Even the Phoenix Cult’s founder, Constantine Graham, has so far not gone through with the Flame Rite. Only those who are desperate, who hold nothing to lose and anything to gain, put themselves of to the sacrifice for an unknown profit. Only people like Reeve Trinidan.
Paragraph 2. (An action/drama that take place in a fictional country similiar to East Germany in 1980)
As the sun lightly set on the horizon, Nathaniel found it ever more difficult to concentrate. There were so many things that could go wrong at any moment; within fact, it was a miracle that they had last this long without being taken out. He admired his father for keeping the revolutionaries so well organized, however, he know that he could not possibly do so well himself. Not only that, but people be determined he never get a chance to lead. With twelve prearranged attempts on his life, and possibly more that never got off the ground, Nathaniel Skye is one of the few teenagers ever to obverse the perils of death by assassination.
Paragraph 3. (A steampunk mystery story)
Whoever invented cameras… I want to hurt them. Paintings. Lovely. These “photographic images” do nothing for me, though. Things cannot be altered, and once your christen becomes well-known you simply must see a photographer, and so on, until I am actually branded as I walk down the street. Who knows what could happen after? And… call me old-fashioned, if you wish, but the superstition give or take a few part of your soul going into the image when your picture is taken and leaving you? As a conjuror I can say more honestly than anyone I do not believe in magic… however I am still worried.
Answers:
I similar to 2 the best.
1 is more like an info dump (don't tell us they instantly became outcasts...show us)
3 is choppy and sturdy to read. At first I thought they were someone famous, then it turns out they're a juggler and I was like, "Wtf."
Anyway. 2 wins contained by my book.
I like paragraph 1 the most.
Paragraph 2 be pretty good, but not as good as 1.
Paragraph 3 has an interesting notion, but the sentences could be altered to flow a little better.
First of all, these are adjectives very good in their own right. None of them hold the feeling of a Twilight knockoff (which there are WAY too many of floating around the internet these days) they adjectives sound very unique and inspired which is good. Second, these are different genres, and as such cannot truly be compared to one another objectively. The Phoenix Cult sounds intense and creepy and I kind of want to know what happen next, but only because of my morbid curiosity. The East German-ish one is a little slow to set off. The vocabulary is a little flat and it switches too much between modern words and phrases and old-fashioned words and phrases similar to things my grandparents used to say. I'm not comfortable with exactly what a "steampunk mystery" is, however the writing style is intriguing. It seems to follow the main character's thoughts massively well. People often think within fragments, so for me, even though it's unorthodox, it works. As far as intrigue and what makes me want to read on, I'm going to say Paragraph 1 got my attention in a jiffy. The others could still be good, but this one hooks me in especially since the founder of this Cult is not even willing to walk through with the final ritual.
I'd like to see the whole article before I really judge, but based on these gap paragraphs, #1 has my vote. Source(s): I'm an author
1: Its amazingly interesting. Its original to which is nice. So many people seem to be to just spit up cliches and overused plots its nice to see something original. But the first few sentences are sort of... blunt? That's not the best way to describe it and i approaching blunt... it needs to lead in better and flow a bit better.
2: Wow... nearby isn't much i can critique; its really good. The only thing i would speak (and honestly this isn't really a bad thing) is that it gives away a lot of details. But wow!
3. This is also awfully good. I like it. All i can say is that it "skips around". Make it a bit more focused. I also have a sneaking suspicion that it would be better if the part, "I want to hurt them. Paintings. Lovely." was actually "I want to hurt them. Paintings are lovely. However,..." or something similar.
I want to right to be heard all of these passages have completely blown me over. I don't want to be insulting but most writers that put stuff up on here are establishment writers adn their material is a lot less elegant, though i do think this is a great source for all writers. Its good to take other people's opinions. These are all great. But...
I pick number two!!
You and your friends should all be proud of yourselves. Its great. Source(s): I love to read and write =]
the second paragraph. the first one didn't capture my interest what so ever and i'm slightly confused on the last one
Related Questions:
Would you read this if it be a fresh ?.?
A story about a girl who was sexually aboused by her dad, her dad was within love with her. She kills her parents , and ends up in a Asylum. the asyulm ends up making her condition worse, the doctor make her do sexual favours for her medication. | Wow. That...
Paragraph 1. (A sci/fi fantasy)
The Phoenix Cult. It cannot rightly be called a religion, more approaching a method. Anyone who finishes the Cult’s final ritual becomes and outcast of society almost instantaneously. Even the Phoenix Cult’s founder, Constantine Graham, has so far not gone through with the Flame Rite. Only those who are desperate, who hold nothing to lose and anything to gain, put themselves of to the sacrifice for an unknown profit. Only people like Reeve Trinidan.
Paragraph 2. (An action/drama that take place in a fictional country similiar to East Germany in 1980)
As the sun lightly set on the horizon, Nathaniel found it ever more difficult to concentrate. There were so many things that could go wrong at any moment; within fact, it was a miracle that they had last this long without being taken out. He admired his father for keeping the revolutionaries so well organized, however, he know that he could not possibly do so well himself. Not only that, but people be determined he never get a chance to lead. With twelve prearranged attempts on his life, and possibly more that never got off the ground, Nathaniel Skye is one of the few teenagers ever to obverse the perils of death by assassination.
Paragraph 3. (A steampunk mystery story)
Whoever invented cameras… I want to hurt them. Paintings. Lovely. These “photographic images” do nothing for me, though. Things cannot be altered, and once your christen becomes well-known you simply must see a photographer, and so on, until I am actually branded as I walk down the street. Who knows what could happen after? And… call me old-fashioned, if you wish, but the superstition give or take a few part of your soul going into the image when your picture is taken and leaving you? As a conjuror I can say more honestly than anyone I do not believe in magic… however I am still worried.
Answers:
I similar to 2 the best.
1 is more like an info dump (don't tell us they instantly became outcasts...show us)
3 is choppy and sturdy to read. At first I thought they were someone famous, then it turns out they're a juggler and I was like, "Wtf."
Anyway. 2 wins contained by my book.
I like paragraph 1 the most.
Paragraph 2 be pretty good, but not as good as 1.
Paragraph 3 has an interesting notion, but the sentences could be altered to flow a little better.
First of all, these are adjectives very good in their own right. None of them hold the feeling of a Twilight knockoff (which there are WAY too many of floating around the internet these days) they adjectives sound very unique and inspired which is good. Second, these are different genres, and as such cannot truly be compared to one another objectively. The Phoenix Cult sounds intense and creepy and I kind of want to know what happen next, but only because of my morbid curiosity. The East German-ish one is a little slow to set off. The vocabulary is a little flat and it switches too much between modern words and phrases and old-fashioned words and phrases similar to things my grandparents used to say. I'm not comfortable with exactly what a "steampunk mystery" is, however the writing style is intriguing. It seems to follow the main character's thoughts massively well. People often think within fragments, so for me, even though it's unorthodox, it works. As far as intrigue and what makes me want to read on, I'm going to say Paragraph 1 got my attention in a jiffy. The others could still be good, but this one hooks me in especially since the founder of this Cult is not even willing to walk through with the final ritual.
I'd like to see the whole article before I really judge, but based on these gap paragraphs, #1 has my vote. Source(s): I'm an author
1: Its amazingly interesting. Its original to which is nice. So many people seem to be to just spit up cliches and overused plots its nice to see something original. But the first few sentences are sort of... blunt? That's not the best way to describe it and i approaching blunt... it needs to lead in better and flow a bit better.
2: Wow... nearby isn't much i can critique; its really good. The only thing i would speak (and honestly this isn't really a bad thing) is that it gives away a lot of details. But wow!
3. This is also awfully good. I like it. All i can say is that it "skips around". Make it a bit more focused. I also have a sneaking suspicion that it would be better if the part, "I want to hurt them. Paintings. Lovely." was actually "I want to hurt them. Paintings are lovely. However,..." or something similar.
I want to right to be heard all of these passages have completely blown me over. I don't want to be insulting but most writers that put stuff up on here are establishment writers adn their material is a lot less elegant, though i do think this is a great source for all writers. Its good to take other people's opinions. These are all great. But...
I pick number two!!
You and your friends should all be proud of yourselves. Its great. Source(s): I love to read and write =]
the second paragraph. the first one didn't capture my interest what so ever and i'm slightly confused on the last one
Related Questions:
Would you read this if it be a fresh ?.?
A story about a girl who was sexually aboused by her dad, her dad was within love with her. She kills her parents , and ends up in a Asylum. the asyulm ends up making her condition worse, the doctor make her do sexual favours for her medication. | Wow. That...