14 year older writer, is this a accurate book view?
an 11 yr old boy and 12 yr old girl go to view a spaceship luanch to mars and they sneak on ship. teenage twin martian sisters capture them but take home friends. martians use device to make them speak same language. martian city is underground. martian sisters take father ship and ask where they live so they can take them back. utter one planet closer to sun. martians accidently take them one planet farther from sun on jupiter. jupiter turns out to be a little smaller than earth but only has a futuristic holagram making it look different. martian ship out of fuel and the fuel needed for their ship is very rare on jupiter. planet have strange creatures (color changing racoons with horns, flying squirl monkeys, dragon chiwawas, etc.) and they have to acquire to the other side of jupiter and face dangers getting there to find the fuel needed for the ship. from then on its a little bit like alice contained by wonderland. any suggestions?
Answers:
It's a decent idea, but you can't set foot on Jupiter.
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/columnist/a…
Then again, I suppose this is part of your "hologram."
I don't ponder you should make them go to Jupiter. In my opinion, I consider there should be some kind of glitch and they warpspeed to an alternate dimension Earth. Those weird creatures could still be in that and then they have to find some kind of alternate fuel source to power the ship to win back to the future.
They could also accidentally go through a blackhole or I don`t know there's a Martian who doesn't want the kids to go back to Earth, so he purposefully tampers beside the ship to get them totally lost out in space, ten-million lightyears from home...
*shrugs* Just some suggestions. In the end it's YOUR story. Do what you want, a short time ago make sure YOU like it.
Well it's not desperate but I wouldn't go out of my way to read it. but like that girl said.. How would they even sneak on the ship? It's most imagined going to be very heavily guarded. But I say just preserve going.your first book won't be perfect but I think you have positive potential
I like it. Fantasy and Sci-Fi are currently suffering genres, so if you want to get notice, add deeper themes and meanings. Alice and Wonderland is a classic because of its surrealism, and also symbolism and unobserved meanings. I would also draw off the work of Ray Bradbury. Bradbury changed Sci-Fi from the realm of nerds, to the genre it is today. His Martian Chronicles within particular may be beneficial to you. There is also a bit of it that needs motive. The kids seem to enjoy no motive for any of these adventures. But that should be rather easy to take contemplation of. Also, once you add a motive, you can make a successful ending to your story. Just resembling the answer above mine says (Tulip), a lot of the plot points have no function for occuring. But I think this can be fixed.Other than that, just plan your story thoroughly and write it!
P.S. There is literally nothing I love more than helping young-looking authors. (I am one myself) I have multiple people I help on Yahoo! Answers. I am even helping one through the publishing process. My profile allows email, so discern free to contact me. I can help you with pretty much anything: ideas, writing, symbolism, eventual publication. You enjoy a lot of potential, and I hope to hear from you soon.
P.S.S. A lot of these answers are telling you to give it up. Seriously, never do that. There are some holes and some issues, but those can be worked through.
this is a very good story but i think is a bit bit childish xD uhmm i don't know what kind or readers you aim for so... Source(s): please answer mine:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?…
In my own personal opinion, I don't like it one bit. It's overly used and I highly doubt a bunch of kids could sneak onto a NASA ship. Also, you spelled "chihuahuas" wrong... I'd dump this model. Source(s): I'm an author.
no
I like it so far. Sounds similar to a great story.
It's all much too un-believable. How do the kids go and get on the spaceship to begin with? Wouldn't it be heavily guarded? What is their motive for sneaking on the ship? And why do they want to return home?
Why is Jupiter smaller than Earth? What exactly is the fuel they need?
Your story sounds childish and aimed towards young at heart children. Another tip: don't make it too much like Alice in Wonderland. Otherwise, you'll purely sound like you're trying to copy Lewis Carroll.
EDIT
The name of the book and the dub of the fuel could be the same. That might be intriguing. You could base the name of the fuel sour a mineral (sulfur, granite, quartz, etc). I don't know if that appeals to you or not, but it's an idea.
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Answers:
It's a decent idea, but you can't set foot on Jupiter.
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/columnist/a…
Then again, I suppose this is part of your "hologram."
I don't ponder you should make them go to Jupiter. In my opinion, I consider there should be some kind of glitch and they warpspeed to an alternate dimension Earth. Those weird creatures could still be in that and then they have to find some kind of alternate fuel source to power the ship to win back to the future.
They could also accidentally go through a blackhole or I don`t know there's a Martian who doesn't want the kids to go back to Earth, so he purposefully tampers beside the ship to get them totally lost out in space, ten-million lightyears from home...
*shrugs* Just some suggestions. In the end it's YOUR story. Do what you want, a short time ago make sure YOU like it.
Well it's not desperate but I wouldn't go out of my way to read it. but like that girl said.. How would they even sneak on the ship? It's most imagined going to be very heavily guarded. But I say just preserve going.your first book won't be perfect but I think you have positive potential
I like it. Fantasy and Sci-Fi are currently suffering genres, so if you want to get notice, add deeper themes and meanings. Alice and Wonderland is a classic because of its surrealism, and also symbolism and unobserved meanings. I would also draw off the work of Ray Bradbury. Bradbury changed Sci-Fi from the realm of nerds, to the genre it is today. His Martian Chronicles within particular may be beneficial to you. There is also a bit of it that needs motive. The kids seem to enjoy no motive for any of these adventures. But that should be rather easy to take contemplation of. Also, once you add a motive, you can make a successful ending to your story. Just resembling the answer above mine says (Tulip), a lot of the plot points have no function for occuring. But I think this can be fixed.Other than that, just plan your story thoroughly and write it!
P.S. There is literally nothing I love more than helping young-looking authors. (I am one myself) I have multiple people I help on Yahoo! Answers. I am even helping one through the publishing process. My profile allows email, so discern free to contact me. I can help you with pretty much anything: ideas, writing, symbolism, eventual publication. You enjoy a lot of potential, and I hope to hear from you soon.
P.S.S. A lot of these answers are telling you to give it up. Seriously, never do that. There are some holes and some issues, but those can be worked through.
this is a very good story but i think is a bit bit childish xD uhmm i don't know what kind or readers you aim for so... Source(s): please answer mine:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?…
In my own personal opinion, I don't like it one bit. It's overly used and I highly doubt a bunch of kids could sneak onto a NASA ship. Also, you spelled "chihuahuas" wrong... I'd dump this model. Source(s): I'm an author.
no
I like it so far. Sounds similar to a great story.
It's all much too un-believable. How do the kids go and get on the spaceship to begin with? Wouldn't it be heavily guarded? What is their motive for sneaking on the ship? And why do they want to return home?
Why is Jupiter smaller than Earth? What exactly is the fuel they need?
Your story sounds childish and aimed towards young at heart children. Another tip: don't make it too much like Alice in Wonderland. Otherwise, you'll purely sound like you're trying to copy Lewis Carroll.
EDIT
The name of the book and the dub of the fuel could be the same. That might be intriguing. You could base the name of the fuel sour a mineral (sulfur, granite, quartz, etc). I don't know if that appeals to you or not, but it's an idea.
Related Questions:
What is the book “Heart of Darkness” something like? Who wrote it? A summary please?
Heart of DarknessHeart of Darkness is a novella written by Polish-born writer Joseph Conrad (born J¨®zef Teodor Konrad Korzeniowski). Before its 1902 publication, it appeared as a three-part series (1899) in Blackwood's Magazine. It is widely regarded as a significant work of English literature and part of...
Which cross do you similar to better for the executioner contained by my original?
David Rae HansenDavid KovacsDavid Rae Lucas David Rae Hansen would gross an awsome name for a killer in a innovative David Kovacs Div, as I suggested before, forget about the minutia like the idyllic name. Focus on the plot and on character development. The faultless name, when you...