Is this short intro paragraph too confusing?
“Why are we doing this? Why would I ever want to move? This is so stupid. I want to stay here.” Those were my thoughts when my family and I were first moving from our home surrounded by California to some house in Oregon. Of course I had also let my line know how I felt by always speaking to them harshly or simply not speaking at adjectives. But that was two and a half years ago and my thoughts about Oregon have quickly changed. Yet here I was sitting in my moms grey SUV on our passageway back to California thinking those same thoughts.
Answers:
no i dont focus that is too confusing.. but I was reading it and hearing it said aloud may be a intact different story.
i agree to the "confusing to stupid people" comment, i completely understood this paragraph...
you moved to oregon and you really didn't want to, now your moving fund to california after you get used to the idea of living in oregon :] if that's not what you be saying then your paragraph doesn't make sense... but im pretty sure that's what you be saying. Source(s): i hope i helped you in any method :]
Try making your first sentence one that reveals the situation before going into the quoted thoughts. Then the reader will be better prepared to make sense of the paragraph.
Example:
My household and I were moving from our home in California to a new city surrounded by Oregon. "Why are we doing this?" "Why would I ever want to move?" (etc) These thoughts were running through my mind...
Good luck.
Caroline W, I understand it completly, great story, your nutty at your parents for moving to the Big W than your mad becasue your moving back to the Big C.
Please, post out more! Me want to hear more!! Your freind might just be putting you down or stupid or I don't know, be super tired when she read it. Source(s): All the best.
I don't really think it's confusing. I think it has for a moment too much info, like, I mean, in the course of the story, how she spoke to her parents doesn't really situation. Delete extra information and it would be perfect! You're a great writer and I can't wait to read the rest of the story! ;)
no i wouldnt read aloud its confusing. i totally get it. except change "Yet here I was sitting" to any "yet here i am" or "there i was" but yea i get it. so i dunno wat ur friend be talkin about. good story piece though
not confusing but boring ;3
I agree with some of my undistinguished predecessors: confusing to stupid people; boring to smart people.
I do think it a bit confusing it give the impression of being to be a good paragraph just need to transmute the wording. Also might want to Switch the first sentence
i dont think thats confusing at all. i like it.
it makes sense to me. two years ago you moved to oregon and you were mad so you flipped at your parents, and consequently you gave them the silent treatment. now you're moving to california and you're mad again.
it may be confusing to stupid general public...
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Answers:
no i dont focus that is too confusing.. but I was reading it and hearing it said aloud may be a intact different story.
i agree to the "confusing to stupid people" comment, i completely understood this paragraph...
you moved to oregon and you really didn't want to, now your moving fund to california after you get used to the idea of living in oregon :] if that's not what you be saying then your paragraph doesn't make sense... but im pretty sure that's what you be saying. Source(s): i hope i helped you in any method :]
Try making your first sentence one that reveals the situation before going into the quoted thoughts. Then the reader will be better prepared to make sense of the paragraph.
Example:
My household and I were moving from our home in California to a new city surrounded by Oregon. "Why are we doing this?" "Why would I ever want to move?" (etc) These thoughts were running through my mind...
Good luck.
Caroline W, I understand it completly, great story, your nutty at your parents for moving to the Big W than your mad becasue your moving back to the Big C.
Please, post out more! Me want to hear more!! Your freind might just be putting you down or stupid or I don't know, be super tired when she read it. Source(s): All the best.
I don't really think it's confusing. I think it has for a moment too much info, like, I mean, in the course of the story, how she spoke to her parents doesn't really situation. Delete extra information and it would be perfect! You're a great writer and I can't wait to read the rest of the story! ;)
no i wouldnt read aloud its confusing. i totally get it. except change "Yet here I was sitting" to any "yet here i am" or "there i was" but yea i get it. so i dunno wat ur friend be talkin about. good story piece though
not confusing but boring ;3
I agree with some of my undistinguished predecessors: confusing to stupid people; boring to smart people.
I do think it a bit confusing it give the impression of being to be a good paragraph just need to transmute the wording. Also might want to Switch the first sentence
i dont think thats confusing at all. i like it.
it makes sense to me. two years ago you moved to oregon and you were mad so you flipped at your parents, and consequently you gave them the silent treatment. now you're moving to california and you're mad again.
it may be confusing to stupid general public...
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Anyone know any devout supernatural/fantasy books?
perferably with romance (No erotica)but if not that's ok too :) Great fantasy books:Any book by Neil Gaiman. Then within are also the J.K. Rowling and J.R.R. Tolkien series.As for any great fantasy/romance book, try to research for the book/s which the HBO TV series True Blood is adapted from. That is one hot show. 1.inkheart...
Intro for clan research rag?? helpppp.?
k so im writing a family history report. its more of stories from my family. im not sure what to write for an intro? any ideas? close to questions i could answer?? please help and be serious please! thannnnks!! Been where you are and though you are outlook writers block right now..the answer is quite simple...'this oral...