What do you surmise of my writing?
'The air became thick near the cries of falling soldiers and the ground soaked with crimson liquid. An opposing warrior mounted their horse. The horseman raced towards the man beside me. He whip out his sword; striking his abdomen. Unfazed, he continued to ride on. I raced over to the man's aid.
An endless stream of blood leaked from his wound. "Stop! No!" I yell.'
I sprung awake from my slumber. My bed soaked with sweat. I gasped, desperate for air. "Not again," I sighed. A moral nights sleep since the war has become a in danger of extinction occasion.
The whole idea is a medieval warrior near post traumatic stress disorder and slowly losing his mind.
What do you think of my work so far? And what do you think I should write next. I'm thinking that my persona should bathe and have a flashback of the war. I'm not sure what to do ... I hold writers block.
I would love to hear what you think. Please Note that the paragraph in ' ' should be in italics. It's the prime characters dream.
Answers:
It's great so far...keep going!
My favorite books to read are historical romances. All earlier than 1500's. I love medieval stuffstuff!
First of all, it is "writer's block". Secondly, do not make available up your day job. Question: "An opposing warrior mounted their horse." "Their" is plural -- be there more than one on one horse? Ouch.
As for the rest, what shall I kindly say — bombastic? Source(s): M.A. contained by world literature.
I love it! Keep going! Very interesting plot, too :).
yea cool a few grammatical errors but overall cool
To be honest, you're writing is a bit average, but it has potential to be good. One thing you can work on is sentence structure.
For instance, in the first sentence, there is a problem with tenses. You should put within a word similar to "became" in between "ground" and "soaked".
In the second sentence, instead of "their", put "he" or "she". You have to stay consistant with the subject.
"I sprung awake from my slumber" sounds a bit awkward and redundant. You don't involve to have the "slumber" part in it if you already hold "awake". There should also be a comma between "slumber" and "My" instead of a period, and then make the "M" lowercase. You also use "soaked" for the second time inside a few sentences. Try to use another word.
There should be an apostrophe in "nights".
Keep writing and working on description. Describe the room, the bed, the weather, the sounds, maybe the feel of the cold stone floor, the crackling of a fire. If you practice greatly, you will get much more better, and trust me, your writing has potential. Try to show the readers what you imply, instead of just telling them, and do a lot of research going on for the medieval time period. Just keep practicing and don't give up!
I regard the idea is really good and original. You can't focus the entire story on flashbacks, though. Try to include in some external conflict. As far as writer's block, just take a break. I single write whenever I have inspiration, or my writing sounds bland. Whenever I'm in the mood, I'll write until I feel myself losing it, consequently I'll stop. Perhaps you could make a list of possible conflicts and plot twists that could arise, or just focus on something else. You'll eventually procure ideas.
Keep writing and I hope this helps!
:)
This might be a good time to seize into the routine and establish the time period. For example the type of bed he's sleeping in, the style of house for that time, filling his tub beside water that has to be boiled as opposed to running wet as we have now. What his nightclothes are made of if he indeed wears any.
In the tub he may doze and feel as if he is now fighting during a rainfall spell. Describe the misery, the hunger, the battle as well as the sickness that pervades the troops. Because of the lack of prescription as well as the developed care system, many died from infection to their wounds, plenty died during surgery because of unsatisfactory sterilization, and loss of blood and even doctors with not enough knowledge. Some died from flu and colds. Learn what other ravages the period of war had and make them pervasive through his nightmares so the reader is fully entrenched in the time term you have selected.
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Have you read THE_SECRET by James A. Ray (Sedona, AZ)? Weekend sweat lodge tragedy? 10 points?
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People's critiques on online writing? There are two that I know of: worthyofpublishing.com and absolutewrite.com. Worthy of Publishing is all about putting your work up and having it critiqued. While it's up here, agents and publishers can see your work and if you're lucky and/or talented enough, take you on. As for Absolute Write,...
An endless stream of blood leaked from his wound. "Stop! No!" I yell.'
I sprung awake from my slumber. My bed soaked with sweat. I gasped, desperate for air. "Not again," I sighed. A moral nights sleep since the war has become a in danger of extinction occasion.
The whole idea is a medieval warrior near post traumatic stress disorder and slowly losing his mind.
What do you think of my work so far? And what do you think I should write next. I'm thinking that my persona should bathe and have a flashback of the war. I'm not sure what to do ... I hold writers block.
I would love to hear what you think. Please Note that the paragraph in ' ' should be in italics. It's the prime characters dream.
Answers:
It's great so far...keep going!
My favorite books to read are historical romances. All earlier than 1500's. I love medieval stuffstuff!
First of all, it is "writer's block". Secondly, do not make available up your day job. Question: "An opposing warrior mounted their horse." "Their" is plural -- be there more than one on one horse? Ouch.
As for the rest, what shall I kindly say — bombastic? Source(s): M.A. contained by world literature.
I love it! Keep going! Very interesting plot, too :).
yea cool a few grammatical errors but overall cool
To be honest, you're writing is a bit average, but it has potential to be good. One thing you can work on is sentence structure.
For instance, in the first sentence, there is a problem with tenses. You should put within a word similar to "became" in between "ground" and "soaked".
In the second sentence, instead of "their", put "he" or "she". You have to stay consistant with the subject.
"I sprung awake from my slumber" sounds a bit awkward and redundant. You don't involve to have the "slumber" part in it if you already hold "awake". There should also be a comma between "slumber" and "My" instead of a period, and then make the "M" lowercase. You also use "soaked" for the second time inside a few sentences. Try to use another word.
There should be an apostrophe in "nights".
Keep writing and working on description. Describe the room, the bed, the weather, the sounds, maybe the feel of the cold stone floor, the crackling of a fire. If you practice greatly, you will get much more better, and trust me, your writing has potential. Try to show the readers what you imply, instead of just telling them, and do a lot of research going on for the medieval time period. Just keep practicing and don't give up!
I regard the idea is really good and original. You can't focus the entire story on flashbacks, though. Try to include in some external conflict. As far as writer's block, just take a break. I single write whenever I have inspiration, or my writing sounds bland. Whenever I'm in the mood, I'll write until I feel myself losing it, consequently I'll stop. Perhaps you could make a list of possible conflicts and plot twists that could arise, or just focus on something else. You'll eventually procure ideas.
Keep writing and I hope this helps!
:)
This might be a good time to seize into the routine and establish the time period. For example the type of bed he's sleeping in, the style of house for that time, filling his tub beside water that has to be boiled as opposed to running wet as we have now. What his nightclothes are made of if he indeed wears any.
In the tub he may doze and feel as if he is now fighting during a rainfall spell. Describe the misery, the hunger, the battle as well as the sickness that pervades the troops. Because of the lack of prescription as well as the developed care system, many died from infection to their wounds, plenty died during surgery because of unsatisfactory sterilization, and loss of blood and even doctors with not enough knowledge. Some died from flu and colds. Learn what other ravages the period of war had and make them pervasive through his nightmares so the reader is fully entrenched in the time term you have selected.
Related Questions:
Have you read THE_SECRET by James A. Ray (Sedona, AZ)? Weekend sweat lodge tragedy? 10 points?
Can you supply any details about this New Age book and author and movement in Arizona? Were his followers crowded too closely (2 dead and masses injured) into the sweat lodge?Thanks for your objective and informative posting -- 10 points for best analysis and overview of...
B&A: Is near a website that I could find...?
People's critiques on online writing? There are two that I know of: worthyofpublishing.com and absolutewrite.com. Worthy of Publishing is all about putting your work up and having it critiqued. While it's up here, agents and publishers can see your work and if you're lucky and/or talented enough, take you on. As for Absolute Write,...